What i should do and what i am actually doing

We all know there are certain ways we shouldn't act. But, sometimes you just automatically act like that in a certain situation. People say that you can control your actions. To me thats only part true. Depending on the situation things are going to happen that sometime you cant stop. Even though you know its not the best way to handle it. In my personal life there are people I just can not stand to be around like it makes me sick to be around them. I know that's not right. I love all of them but right know I just cant show it. I know God wants us all to love each other but sometimes that is extremely hard.

I Wont Let Go

I don't know if any of you have heard the song I Wont Let Go by Rascal Flatts. But this song makes me think of three major events that have happened in my life. The first one is the passing of my father. I was really little but my mom says I cried for days and wouldnt sleep at all. People say that you need to let go of people that have past but the truth is you really cant. For me it shaped who I am today. My dad was and is my one and only dad. No one will ever here me call someone else my dad. Because my dad died dec 22 and he will forever and always be my only dad and thats something you cant Let Go. The last two events were the passing of my Uncle Darren and Aunt Kathy. The song says something a long the lines of I will hold you and I will wipe away every tear from your eye. As i watched them die thats all i wanted to do. You want to fight there battles for them but you cant. You want to take away there pain but all you can do is sit by them and hold there hand and tell them you love them. At times you have to clean up blood and throw up or even change them. You do what ever you can to hold on to them for as long as you can but when its time you have to be able to tell them to let go and go to be with Jesus. Let me tell you that is the hardest thing ever to do. But just because you let them go to be with Jesus doesn't mean you let go. They will all ways be in your heart and on your mind. I know they are on mine and always will be. I will forever miss them all and there are some days i can barely mange but its just something you have to do.

At the point were i can not... not say anything

People these days are driving me nuts. By disrespecting and being in sick and wrong relationships. And i am not necessarily talking about boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. I am to the point where if no one steps up and tells them i will. Even if it ruins my friendship or if they hate me. I am where i cant stand to see it and so is everyone else is to. No one including me don't have the balls to do it. But, i am sick and tired of seeing this nasty crap..I am just going to have to grow a pair and tell them. If it means leaving the group I will because i know i will feel better and so will others. I don't understand how people don't realize that no one want to be around them so they don't come anymore. ISNT THAT EASY TO SEE or HOW PEOPLE DON'T TALK TO YOU ANYMORE. I am sorry but this kid aka me is getting sick and to the point where i am about to leave. If you cant see the relationship that you are in is hardcore wrong then there is something seriously wrong with you.

Respect

To me respect is very important to me. Some people don't understand why respect is a BIG thing. Well for me I have a grandpa that was in the military it has been drilled into me my whole life. So the few that know me realize that I always unless I am pissed of  will look people in the eyes. That is one of the best ways to show others that you respect the. Today it was amazing to see how much respect everyone had for Donny. The hundreds of flags, over 500 patriot guards, soldiers, and over 300 people that was at his service. I attended the service let me just say there wasn't a dry in the whole place. I was sitting next to one of my class mates that are going to Basics this summer to enter the national guard. As he hugged me I made him promise that in a few years that he will not be the one laying up front with a flag over him and he did promise with tears in his eyes. How can people not get how big this is. When a soldier dies for his country he is dieing for all of us, so that we can be free.And people that don't get that and disagree with that should honestly be shipped in to the war zones and see how they handle it, and once there over there they will be begging to be back in the US. Because in other country's there isn't much freedom. Those people really tick me off. Another way to show respect is to use peoples names. I know that these days everyone has nicknames but when someone dies or in a bad accident don't say that on chick or that dude.Use there name regardless where you are and who you are with. And if you really want to piss me off is to talk bad about those people that just payed the ultimate price. And don't say ya that one kid ya he picked on me in school. Maybe he did but if you really knew him you would no that he really wasn't picking on you...just saying so please around me don't say anything bad about someone who died because that is a granteed punch in the face. So all I got to say is respect people or leave our country...thanks

Things that drive me nuts

One of the most things that drive me nuts is people that are two faced. I know at times that I can be that way but someone tells me that I am and I snap back to normal. But some people you really know can surprise you like you cant imagine. For example some people that you think are hard core Christians one day and then the next day a totally different person. Some people they change depending on the environment they are in. I am guilty of this at times but not all the time.Everyone is at times, but it drives me CRAZY when people do it in front of certain people to impress them. So that the people that they are fooling are going to have a wide awaking. I want to tell those people that some people arent who they really think they are. PEOPLE WAKE UP AND STOP BELIEVING THE LIES THEY ARE TELLING... OPEN UR EYES U ARE SOOOOOOOO BLIND