What i should do and what i am actually doing

We all know there are certain ways we shouldn't act. But, sometimes you just automatically act like that in a certain situation. People say that you can control your actions. To me thats only part true. Depending on the situation things are going to happen that sometime you cant stop. Even though you know its not the best way to handle it. In my personal life there are people I just can not stand to be around like it makes me sick to be around them. I know that's not right. I love all of them but right know I just cant show it. I know God wants us all to love each other but sometimes that is extremely hard.

I Wont Let Go

I don't know if any of you have heard the song I Wont Let Go by Rascal Flatts. But this song makes me think of three major events that have happened in my life. The first one is the passing of my father. I was really little but my mom says I cried for days and wouldnt sleep at all. People say that you need to let go of people that have past but the truth is you really cant. For me it shaped who I am today. My dad was and is my one and only dad. No one will ever here me call someone else my dad. Because my dad died dec 22 and he will forever and always be my only dad and thats something you cant Let Go. The last two events were the passing of my Uncle Darren and Aunt Kathy. The song says something a long the lines of I will hold you and I will wipe away every tear from your eye. As i watched them die thats all i wanted to do. You want to fight there battles for them but you cant. You want to take away there pain but all you can do is sit by them and hold there hand and tell them you love them. At times you have to clean up blood and throw up or even change them. You do what ever you can to hold on to them for as long as you can but when its time you have to be able to tell them to let go and go to be with Jesus. Let me tell you that is the hardest thing ever to do. But just because you let them go to be with Jesus doesn't mean you let go. They will all ways be in your heart and on your mind. I know they are on mine and always will be. I will forever miss them all and there are some days i can barely mange but its just something you have to do.